I am sitting in the lounge room, the whirring sound of a lawn mower is a constant in the background and the sun has bleached everything orange as it begins its descent for the night. I take a deep breath in and let it out. The present moment is absolutely perfect in every way. Yet most of my moments are filled with future to do lists or anxieties about tomorrow’s meetings or what I am going to be cooking for dinner.
Although I am about 4 years too late I have just finished reading A New Earth by EckhartTolle and am now re-reading it chapter by chapter as I listen to Oprah’s Podcasts of her interviews with Tolle and their conversations with readers around the world.
I am on Chapter 2 which all about the Ego. Today I had a total ah ah moment when Tolle said that waiting is actually resisting the present moment; you are waiting for another moment that you would prefer because the present moment does not suit you.
When you are trying to get pregnant all you seem to do is wait, wait for ovulation, wait for the right time to have sex, the dreaded two-week wait, wait for your periods to be over to start the whole cycle again. The endless waiting is one of the most frustrating parts of this journey. I used to think that waiting and patience are something we are not really taught to do in our society but I realise now that it is really being present and acceptance of the here and now are what we are really not taught to do in our society.
Tolle’s advice is to be friendly with the present moment; to be as if what is happening now is exactly what you had chosen. At times during that monthly cycle this can really seem like a joke, how can you accept it when something you have dreamed about is bleeding out of you in such a literal and ever-present way? But then I think isn’t acceptance better than the rage, the anger the bitterness and the disappointment.
So this month I am determined to live more in the present moment to train myself over the next 30 days to take time to breathe, to feel my body, to hear the small sounds of my everyday life, to pay alert attention to exactly what I am doing in the here and now rather than straying to the past and future of my mind. Perhaps this training as I wash the dishes or cook dinner will prepare me to accept and be with the harder challenges I might be facing or even to enjoy those sweet moments so much more.