Baby Central Station

Its baby central station in my world at the moment and all the trains are pulling in.  Two of our best friends have just had babies and two more and expecting their little ones in the next month.  After putting it off as long as I could my husband and I went to buy baby gifts yesterday.

I thought this was going to be a sad and harrowing experience, I found out our friend Nadia was pregnant when we were on the check out line at the supermarket on a busy Thursday night.  As people buzzed and milled around us, Greg made this sudden announcement that Nadia was pregnant, it was like a knife through the heart and I started sobbing uncontrollably as I clutched my basket, tears rolled down my face and stained Greg shirt as he held me to his chest.

After that more and more announcements seemed to roll in and I kept thinking is this some sort of joke? Is everyone in the world having a baby except me and in my darkest days I thought; god how am I going to feel when these babies are actually born.  Off course I was so happy for my friends but my happiness was just stemmed by how sad I was myself.

As the babies come rolling in though things have changed, I have been looking more and more forward to their arrival and their squashed face first photo’s.  I felt a true sense of joy as we bought onezies and little outfits for three girls and one boy. I felt blessed that even though they weren’t mine I was going to be involved in the lives of these precious new people.

I made the very conscious choice early on that I wasn’t going to shut myself off from the milestones of my pregnant friends, so I enquired about their baby bumps and morning sickness, I talked to them about their birth plans and baby names and with each conversation I felt the cork of sadness for me lift as the happiness for them flowed out.

I read today in David Woolfe’s book “The profound truth is: one thing does lead to another” .  The way I look at it now abundance follows abundance, life begets life and so the more life is being created out their the more chance I have of creating a life.

So welcome to my life Hugh Valentine  and beautiful Beatrice….and I look forward to the two other stars that will be dropping from the sky soon.

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