Overcoming Infertility Depression: Part 1. Affirmations

I learned about affirmations through a Louise L Hay course when I was just 19 years old.  That 2 day course had the most amazing impact on me and literally changed my life.  I broke out of a bad relationship I had not been able to leave for 2 years.  I lost a ton of weight and radiated a glow.  I met my husband and I felt like I blossomed.  Despite all of these amazing changes I never kept up with the work we covered in those sessions and although I have dipped into Hays book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ I have never really effectively used affirmations.

There are several reasons for this, positive affirmations are structured in such a way that they feel like a big fat lie to me.  They are always in the present tense and affirm things like they have already happened.  So for example if you hate your job then your affirmation would be ‘I have a wonderful and fulfilling job that I love’ the premise is that once your thoughts, cells and energy start vibrating to the tune of having a wonderful job either your job does become wonderful or you attract a wonderful new job into you life.  This is where I come unstuck with affirmations every time. I can not bear the thought of walking around saying to myself ‘I am so grateful and happy that I am pregnant’ its just feels a little crazy.

But on reflection and a little bit of awareness of my thoughts has revealed that it is not so much not having a baby that is getting me so down, it’s certainly part of it but the crux of the issue is that not getting pregnant is making me feel like a failure and failing is something that I find completely unacceptable.   My life and the way that I live it has been an exercising in proving to myself that I am not a failure and when I am riding the highs of good grades, new jobs, weight loss, close friends and happy times I truly believe that I am a success.  But then throw in a confrontation at work, lower than expected grades, not getting that job or not failing pregnant and I am completely convinced that I am a failure and those moments of success were but flukes. This is when the depression sets in and I fight hard to get out of the mud.

The other issue I find with affirmations is my extremely short attention span, I focus on them for a couple of days and then they slide behind the couch like loose change only to be marvelled over on those rare occasions I vacuum behind the cushions.

To resolve my first issue my affirmations this time around are going to be working on the fundamental base – my self worth.  Working towards believing that I am not only a success but a miracle; a force of nature. Something like ‘Everyday in every way I am a radiant success, vibrant and pulsing with life and I invite fertile abundance’.  After the base is solid then maybe I can start on those bigger fish.  As for keeping them front and centre I am actually going to do those hokey things they suggest like writing them on cards and putting them all around me.  Writing them out 10-20 times to start with initially and saying them to myself in the mirror.  If nothing else I will be forcing one positive thought into a collection of negative ones.  According to Gala Darling positive thoughts pack a much bigger punch than negative ones so just a few can go a long way.

Affirmations aren’t some woo woo crap that rearranges the universe in your favour, what they do is rearrange your thoughts in your favour.  When you think about it all the negative thoughts you have about yourself are no more true than positive ones and yet look at the effect they have on your life.  The way I see it why not have a thought that is helpful, beautiful, poetic and filled with love.  The truth is I would not dare think of anyone else as a failure – I have never referred to anyone this way and I would think it was a very serious and nasty thing to say if I did. Yet I am prepared to think this of myself simply because it is a thought that I have allowed to take up residence in my head, and the only way to get this squatter out is to crowd in the positive peeps and get them pimping out the joint.

You can find some fantastic information on affirmations at this site – www.vitalaffirmations.com

Louise L Hay’s book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ is definitely worth a read click on the title to purchase.  Her website also has daily affirmations

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One Response to Overcoming Infertility Depression: Part 1. Affirmations

  1. Pingback: Overcoming Infertility Depression: Part 3 Mindfulness | fertilelife

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