Its my birthday today the 7th of December, if my mothers pregnancy was text-book I was conceived on the 2nd of March.  Probably on a secluded roof top high above the noisy din of a busy Madrasi neighbourhood.   My mother was just 17 devastated by the death of her father and desperate to rebel against her mother.  My father was 23 the youngest of 8 brothers and sisters –  eager to be a man and obsessed with my mother.  Theirs was a fruitful relationship if not a healthy one.  It was in this mangle of despair, thrill, searing heat and emotions that I came to be – a complete accident of youthful ignorance. The tumult of my conception gives me hope that life is a force of nature and can not be contained.  It will break through stress, despair and sadness like those hardy shrubs that grow of out of steep mountain faces – life prevails.

An unexpected birthday gift has come my way this year – a conception of sorts during a deep meditation Chakra mapping session.  I had the most wonderful experience of meeting myself as a –  tiny embryo magical and perfect.  The ecstatic happiness of this little being was thrilling like the full joy of a child being tickled by someone they love, feeling like they are going to burst with joy and yet not wanting it to end.  I felt complete love, devotion, protection and affection for myself.  At the end of the vision my adult self was curled around my embryo self which was surrounded by a large amniotic sack.  I looked like I was pregnant and I said out loud ‘I am pregnant with myself’.

So here’s to a year of renewal, growth, development and birthing…..and my birthday wish? To hold the feeling of that meditation to be bursting with joy.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s