Sunday’s here on FertileLife are going to be a sumptuous, delightful, magnificent feast of mind games, happy tricks, magic moves and cool ideas to turn those negative thoughts about pre-fertility into a nourishing meal for the soul. This roller coaster ride which is trying to have a baby can take you to places in your heart and soul which leave you broken and frazzled. It can lead you into deep pockets of sadness, disappointment and just plain pissed off-ness that you never imagined. But as I have been watching myself lately I have noticed that the triggers are usually small, my temperature dropping, a pregnant women walking by, the lady at work telling me how her and husband discussed getting pregnant and then just were (great!). It’s at these pivotal moments if I am able to distract myself or turn the other way that I can salvage my day and keep going. But usually I just go down the dark tunnel and one thought or experience just keeps running into another until I’ve got an 8 car pile up in my mind and all I can do is cry and eat ice cream.
Well after 3 years I am sick of crying and although ice cream will probably never lose its appeal I am sure my heart and thighs could use a rest. Lately I have been a researching fanatic on how to turn this experience of pre-fertility into my spiritual adventure to extract the diamond from solid rock. A huge part of this has been changing my thoughts – a big thanks goes out to my antidepressants on this front who have given me a bit of space to clear my head and stop the loop. But they aren’t forever and nor do I want them to be, so I am taking Sundays to kick the week off with some mind games – ways to change-up my negative thinking and bring some feel good joy into my life.
This week’s mind meal: The Positive What If Game – by Abrahm Hicks
At some point I think everyone who is going through pre-fertility has experience the ‘What if’s” – What if I never get pregnant? What if I don’t have enough eggs? What if IVF doesn’t work? Its future doom and glooming in the hopes that if we anticipate the worst we will be prepared for it. But it’s kind of like preparing for a long, hard battle by starving yourself, limiting your sleep and telling yourself you are a useless soldier – in anticipation of the difficulties ahead. Wouldn’t it be better to eat lots, sleep well and boost your confidence before a big show down?
That is where ‘The Positive What If Game’ comes in – turning those negative what if’s around and then taking them to crazy new heights. The point is not to solve the problem or come to any sort of logical conclusion – the game has only one object – to feel good and get your mind on a more positive track. So here goes; What if I did get pregnant and had twins? What if I had so many eggs I could donate them to other women who are struggling? What if I end up having so many children I get their names mixed up? and you could go on and on. Have fun with it – because these What If’s are just as possible as the other What if’s the key difference being that these will make you feel better and open up the possibilities.