I have been reluctant in the past to read books about people’s self healing especially when they claim to have eliminated a cancer or some terminal illness by journeying and spiritual healing. My main resistance was that most of these books suggest that you created the problem in the first place and I didn’t think it was very helpful to be blaming yourself when you were already in a bad situation. But when I saw Brandon Bays book The Journey I hastily read the back and then put it away, but every few minutes as I browsed the book store I found myself coming back to it and reading a little more each time. Something compelled me to buy it and I have grown to trust those feelings of late.
Brandon Bays has a pretty amazing story, she had a tumour in her stomach the size of a basketball which she completely healed herself doing the process she created called ‘The Journey’. The journey is all about taking responsibility for our own healing and making the connection between what happens in our hearts and minds and our bodies. The book is broken up into two parts, the first part talks about dealing with our emotional issues and getting to the core of what is creating them and the second part talks about our physical issues and locating where they are in the body and then healing them.
The healing takes place from first locating the emotions, feeling them and going through them layer by layer until you get into a nothingness – this is often the black hole we arrive at when we are at our wits end. I used to think of this place as a dark canyon that once I fell in – I might never come back. Far from it this dark canyon is actually the place of god, the divine within – a drop where you let go of all the suffering you have felt and just experience your true essence. Because most of us can’t even imagine this we get to the black hole and pull ourselves back with fear – when its the very place where fear is dissolved.
“Know whatever comes to you unexpected to be a gift from God, which will surely serve you if you use it to the fullest. It is only that which you strive for out of your own imagination, that gives you trouble.”
As you journey through the layers of your emotions, generally a memory will come up which links to this emotion and its here that the healing begins – as you go back into the memory and invite everyone from it to gather around a safe, loving fire and express what was not said at the time. For me the memory I went back to was a defining period in my life I was 7 and I was terrified – the events of that night have shaped everything I have believed about myself and my life. I sat by the fire expecting to spew out torrents of anger and bitterness instead my 7 year self spoke with such composure and honesty. What happened next totally rearranged my universe – my family spoke back and sincerely apologised and explained to me their own context and why they behaved as they did. I found myself crying with total compassion for them and truly forgiving them – not condoning but forgiving. Afterwards Bays takes you through the process of introducing the emotional lesson into your life and then leads you 10 years into the future to write yourself a letter of advice – here is a snippet of mine;
“You need to stop using fear as your default emotion – its there like a brick always holding down the fullness of your beautiful shining diamond. Make joy and curiosity your default. Constantly ask yourself can I be curious and explore this?”
The journey is by no means a do it once and you are cured of all your ills trick, it is a process – a journey as it suggests. It is a tool to go under your suffering and pain and find its source and heal it. I was in a lot of pain when I read the book ( I am constantly amazed at how things turn up just when you need them) so I had to do the exercises on my own but they are best done with a partner who can guide you through the meditations and write down your answers so you can go through them later.
I am coming to realise more and more that pre-fertility has been a jumping off point to sorting out a whole range of emotions I have been suppressing and memories I have been denying. I thought when I found the book that the first journey I would take would be to locate the source of my pre-fertility. Interestingly it has taken me on detours I hardly expected but which been a like clarifying ring through my body. It feels like I am removing thorns that have been so long embedded in my side that I had learned to ignore their stabbing. Who know – as Marianne Williamson says ‘the problem is never what you think it is”.